Surpassing Worth
>> Sunday, December 8, 2013
There is nothing visually beautiful about a crucifixion. Yet, Jesus' crucifixion the most beautiful event in all of history, and will remain so until He comes back. The physical pain he endured was nothing compared to the weight of sin He carried. The weight of our sin. I will never comprehend that pain. It's like experiencing every sin I've ever committed in one moment. It makes me want to throw up. But Jesus endured that for me and for everyone in ONE moment during the passion. That's anguish.
Our English word for anguish or agony comes from agape, which describes God's deep and pure love for us. Agape is the most intimate love. The implications of it are life-changing and soul-shaking.
The anguish in Jesus as he hung and bled on the tree was that He loved us SO much that it hurt him. It PAINED him. Isaiah 53:10-11 says:
"Yet it was the will of the LORD to crush him;
he has put him to grief, when his soul makes an offering for guilt,
he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days;
the will of the LORD shall prosper in his hand.
Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied;
by his knowledge shall the righteous one,
my servant, make many to be accounted righteous,
and he shall bear their iniquities."
"Out of the anguish of his SOUL." This is what holy anguish looks like. It's an excruciatingly beautiful love. It's painful love.
About a week ago, I came back to the States from a week long vision trip to East Asia. As my friends were excited about being back in the West, I kept thinking to myself "I want to go back home to East Asia." I don't hate America so please don't hear me saying that. East Asia is my heart and it's my home. Ask me to explain it and you will not have a definitive answer. I can't give one (but please ask me about it sometime!). Out of the anguish of my soul, I love this place. But I have no idea when I will get to go back and it feels like I have to sacrifice it.
Are we willing to sacrifice something we love out of the anguish of our soul? If all I'm left with is Jesus...will it be enough? By His grace...YES. Certainly.
If Jesus loved me out of the anguish of his soul and loved me so much that He extended open hands on the cross to be nailed, then surely, He will enable me by grace to open my hands to Him.
Even if it means sacrificing that which I love out of the anguish of my soul, it's worth it because I would still be left with the one thing that matters most: Jesus. Even though I will falter in believing these things, I know that whatever God fills my hands back up with will be good because He is a good Father.
It's easy for us to play the game of "If I just had _________, then my life would be _________" For me, it's "if I just had East Asia, then my life would make sense and have more meaning." This is a big, fat lie. If I had the perfect ministry and made millions...the best thing in my life would STILL be Jesus. If I graduated with a 4.0 GPA with $0 in loans, the best thing in my life would STILL be Jesus. If I had East Asia...the single most important and best thing in my life would STILL be Jesus.
Are you getting the picture? King David once said "Because your love is better than life, I will praise you" (Psalm 63:3). Do you believe this? Do I?
I love East Asia so much and the burden is so heavy that I literally feel it sometimes. The anguish can be paralyzing and I often find myself kicking and screaming and wondering why it feels that way. I know God has a wonderful plan for my life but I wrestle everyday with what I believe God is asking me to steward, which is this burden for East Asia. I ask "What am I supposed to do with THIS?" Or "What does this mean for my life." And yet...God continues to say "Stop. This is not about you, Jenny."
God is weaving together a tapestry much bigger than anything we can see or imagine. Even though our lives are quick and we seem small, we are utterly SIGNIFICANT to complete the picture. Our lives are not our own. They were bought with a price. If we get caught up in thinking that we're the center of the tapestry we will miss out completely on the beauty of it all. God didn't create us to miss out on beauty or His greater plan. He created us to first know Him, love him and be loved by Him. And second...to emulate it in Him and to bring it to the ends of the earth.
I want to be a part of the tapestry, not believe the lie that I have my own. Yes, God's plan for my life...for YOUR life...is incredible on it's own because HE is the one planning. But it's even more incredible because He is using it in his redemptive plan.
I don't want to miss out on being a part of this because I'm caught up in my tunnel vision of my own life. I don't want to miss out on it because I'm focused on the mission before the Savior. It's not okay for me...for us to get excited about the cause of Christ and not get excited about Christ Himself. We cannot desire only to do ministry like Jesus. We must first love the one who ministered to us.
Of course, do ministry like Jesus and live like Him. But if we want to be like Jesus and live like Him, we cannot simply follow Him on the roads in Jerusalem and Bethlehem. We must also follow Him on the road to Gethsemane and Calvary. These imperfect little deaths we die point towards the perfect Jesus who said we must carry our cross daily and deny ourselves and deny ourselves of the things we hold so dear. God wants to bless us and give us people, gifts, etc. But not at the cost of our relationship with HIM.
The reality is...NOTHING is better than Jesus.
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About a week ago, I came back to the States from a week long vision trip to East Asia. As my friends were excited about being back in the West, I kept thinking to myself "I want to go back home to East Asia." I don't hate America so please don't hear me saying that. East Asia is my heart and it's my home. Ask me to explain it and you will not have a definitive answer. I can't give one (but please ask me about it sometime!). Out of the anguish of my soul, I love this place. But I have no idea when I will get to go back and it feels like I have to sacrifice it.
Are we willing to sacrifice something we love out of the anguish of our soul? If all I'm left with is Jesus...will it be enough? By His grace...YES. Certainly.
If Jesus loved me out of the anguish of his soul and loved me so much that He extended open hands on the cross to be nailed, then surely, He will enable me by grace to open my hands to Him.
Even if it means sacrificing that which I love out of the anguish of my soul, it's worth it because I would still be left with the one thing that matters most: Jesus. Even though I will falter in believing these things, I know that whatever God fills my hands back up with will be good because He is a good Father.
It's easy for us to play the game of "If I just had _________, then my life would be _________" For me, it's "if I just had East Asia, then my life would make sense and have more meaning." This is a big, fat lie. If I had the perfect ministry and made millions...the best thing in my life would STILL be Jesus. If I graduated with a 4.0 GPA with $0 in loans, the best thing in my life would STILL be Jesus. If I had East Asia...the single most important and best thing in my life would STILL be Jesus.
Are you getting the picture? King David once said "Because your love is better than life, I will praise you" (Psalm 63:3). Do you believe this? Do I?
I love East Asia so much and the burden is so heavy that I literally feel it sometimes. The anguish can be paralyzing and I often find myself kicking and screaming and wondering why it feels that way. I know God has a wonderful plan for my life but I wrestle everyday with what I believe God is asking me to steward, which is this burden for East Asia. I ask "What am I supposed to do with THIS?" Or "What does this mean for my life." And yet...God continues to say "Stop. This is not about you, Jenny."
God is weaving together a tapestry much bigger than anything we can see or imagine. Even though our lives are quick and we seem small, we are utterly SIGNIFICANT to complete the picture. Our lives are not our own. They were bought with a price. If we get caught up in thinking that we're the center of the tapestry we will miss out completely on the beauty of it all. God didn't create us to miss out on beauty or His greater plan. He created us to first know Him, love him and be loved by Him. And second...to emulate it in Him and to bring it to the ends of the earth.
I want to be a part of the tapestry, not believe the lie that I have my own. Yes, God's plan for my life...for YOUR life...is incredible on it's own because HE is the one planning. But it's even more incredible because He is using it in his redemptive plan.
I don't want to miss out on being a part of this because I'm caught up in my tunnel vision of my own life. I don't want to miss out on it because I'm focused on the mission before the Savior. It's not okay for me...for us to get excited about the cause of Christ and not get excited about Christ Himself. We cannot desire only to do ministry like Jesus. We must first love the one who ministered to us.
Of course, do ministry like Jesus and live like Him. But if we want to be like Jesus and live like Him, we cannot simply follow Him on the roads in Jerusalem and Bethlehem. We must also follow Him on the road to Gethsemane and Calvary. These imperfect little deaths we die point towards the perfect Jesus who said we must carry our cross daily and deny ourselves and deny ourselves of the things we hold so dear. God wants to bless us and give us people, gifts, etc. But not at the cost of our relationship with HIM.
The reality is...NOTHING is better than Jesus.
"But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ.
I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth
of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.
For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things
and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him,
not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law,
but that which is through faith in Christ
--the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.
I want to know Christ -- YES, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow,
attaining to the resurrection from the dead.
Not that I have already obtained this or have I already arrived at my goal,
but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.
Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.
But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining toward what is ahead,
I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law,
but that which is through faith in Christ
--the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.
I want to know Christ -- YES, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow,
attaining to the resurrection from the dead.
Not that I have already obtained this or have I already arrived at my goal,
but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.
Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.
But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining toward what is ahead,
I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
- Phillippians 3:7-14
