...Ben...

On Halloween, the Student Impact outreach team organized an outreach on langdon street where a few people handed out hot chocolate and talked to people about Jesus. So on the way to work (front info desk at the Union) on Halloween morning, I thought to myself something like, "Yeah...I could go. But everyone is going to be drunk and annoying and won't even remember anything anyone says. What's the point?" I was reluctant and didn't know if the outreach was worth going to. Fast forward about and hour or 2 when I sitting at work, reading a book for a religious studies class. At this point, I was pretty sure that I wasn't going to the outreach...just because I didn't want to put up with all of the drunk people out that night. But as I was reading, the author referenced the Bible when Jesus says "Father, forgive them...for they know not what they do." I have read that verse so many times. I've heard sermons on why Jesus said that and what He meant by it. But when I read it while I was at work...I felt a deep conviction that I was not thinking about people--specifically those who would be out on Halloween night--the way that Jesus would think about them. . That was when I knew I was supposed to go to that outreach.

I went...and had a conversation a guy named Ben and his friend. He was a senior in high school. I don't remember who or what he dressed up as...I don't know where he's from...I don't even know his last name. I could tell that he already had a drink or two. But I also knew he was somewhat sober. I asked his friend the question "how do you think someone gets to heaven?"...and he said "Just be a good person and do good things." That's when Ben stepped in and said "No. That's not right. You have to love Jesus. You have to believe that you're sinful and believe that you need Him as your Savior." At this point...his friend and wandered off a few feet away. That's when I asked Ben to tell me a little more about how he came to know that. He was in Colorado at a youth camp his sophomore year of high school. At that point in his life, he believed in God...had heard the Gospel...but still had a lot of doubts. He and his friends went to the top of this huge hill to pray and he snuck off. As he stood beneath the open sky looking at the stars...he prayed and asked God to show him a shooting star if He was real. In that second...Ben saw one, and knew that God was pursuing him and surrender His life to Jesus that night.

Then Ben told me that when he got back home, he experienced what we know as a "spiritual high." He was going to youth group...reading his bible and thirsty to know more about Jesus. Yes, he could have easily made up his story...but I knew that it was geniune. I knew because of how strongly I felt the Spirit there. I felt such a burden for him. He continued on and told me about how he got mixed up in the wrong group of friends. He started drinking and doing drugs regularly. He knew it was wrong...but continued anyway. He said that there would be times when he would come home, high...and just lay in bed and pray. He would talk to God. He would ask God to do something in his life because he didn't have the strength to stop doing drugs and drinking on his own. As he kept talking about the lifestyle he was living...I just listened. After talking for about 5-10 minutes about his life...Ben looked me in the eye and said "I just can't take it anymore." I knew the answer...but I wanted him to say it out loud. When I asked him what he couldn't take anymore...his friend nudged him and said they had to get going. As his friend pulled him away...Ben stepped back towards me and asked me what my name was. I told him and he said something I will never forget. He said "Well Jenny...I love you......because you love Jesus." Then he gave me a hug and walked away.

I don't think I'll ever see Ben again. It's very possible that Ben woke up the next morning oblivious to the conversation we had the previous night. And it's possible that Ben is still doing drugs and partying and living a life that he thinks he needs to live. But it's also possible that God changed him that night. It's possible that Ben is reading his bible and has been redeemed by Jesus. Its my hope and prayer that God used our conversation in Ben's life somehow. Even if it was in a slightest way.

If there's one passion that God has given me in the past 3 years, it's been a heart for the lost and hurting. I don't say that to boast...I say it because it's a burden that God has placed on my heart. Talking to Ben made me realize pain and struggle is so worth it when Jesus is there at the end of it with arms open. Talking to him made me realize that we cannot judge Madison according to the worldy standards that it has as a party school. Instead...we need to love Madison more. We need to love this world through Jesus' eyes. We need to love the people and our hearts need to break for them. As soon as we try to justify judgment on them...we have failed to love. We all know that there are people in our classrooms...people we work with and talk to everyday who need healing, redemption and freedom. Yes...we need to walk in the light. But we also need to BE the light. Do people know that you love Jesus? Are you praying for Madison? For your professors? For classmates? For your lab partner? For the people you walk by? PRAY. Pray that they would come to know Jesus. Pray for redemption in this city. In your family. In the world. We look at people and feel sorry for them and say "if they only knew Jesus," then continue on in our walks with Jesus not seeing that we are walking by and ignoring the people Jesus died to save. Are we doing anything to help them know Jesus? We aren't all called to GO or called into full time ministry. But we're called to love Jesus and FOLLOW him. I think we tend to think about the areas in life that we're following Him in and just improve those areas. But we...at least I never stop to think about how I'm NOT following Him. Just something to think about.

"How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, 'How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!'"--Romans 10:14-15

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTVpyUOR_fI