Better is One Day...even better than East Asia

I have spent so much time trying to figure out why there were so many open doors and where God wanted me to be that I didn't stop to actually think. About a week ago, I determined that if money weren't a factor in what I wanted to do in the near future, I'd want to be in East Asia laboring for the Gospel. I have seen and it is my duty (NOT obligation), my privilege to be someone who can GO and be Jesus. And I know I have said this so many times recently, but I believe that God is building me up, breaking me down, molding me and filling me up to prepare me for ministry in East Asia. I can't say when...but I believe it is going to happen. I truly, with everything I am, wholeheartedly believe that my passion and righteous indignation for this country is from God. I wish I could say that I KNOW it's from Him, but I can't. A friend of mine who shares a similar love/passion for East Asia told me that trying to grasp not living in East Asia ever again is like trying to grasp infinity. This is how I feel. The thought of never going back literally pains me. It angers me, makes me want to cry and question God...but today I read Psalm 27.

"One thing I ask from the LORD, this only do I seek:

that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life,

to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple..."

--Psalm 27:4-5--

I tried to grasp what it would mean if the ONE thing I sought after was to dwell with the Lord; to see His beauty and gaze on it. I would imagine that "gaze" means being completely fixated on something and just wanting to look at it forever. As simple as it may seem, this changed the way I thought about East Asia and how I pursue it so relentlessly. I was reminded of a worship song that is very dear to my heart: Better is One Day. And the ever so famous line "Better is one day in Your courts than thousands elsewhere" rained down on me so much truth. One day with God, with Jesus is better than a thousand days anywhere with anyone, even East Asia. As I sat in a coffee shop and broke down, I had peace for the first time in my life about the possibility of never going back. It still burns and it hurts, but I know that my God is enough. If He is God and if He is who He says He is, then He is enough. And I honestly don't know if I've ever been able to say that and completely believe it.

Better is one day with God than being in East Asia. Better is one day with God than having money, close friends, brothers and sisters in Christ, a full-time job, a spouse or significant other, [fill in with what you often consider better than God]. While I think I will be in East Asia again someday...and even soon, I don't know what's going to happen for sure. I've taken steps towards going back but it is now completely in God's hands. David's words are the prayer of my heart:

"I will remain confident of this:

I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD"

--Psalm 27:13-14

I believe this. I will wait and trust that God is God. I am confident that even if I don't ever go back to East Asia, I will see the goodness of the Lord. I am going to wait on Him because gazing on His beauty and seeking His face is better than anything that the human mind can comprehend; better than anything the depths of the heart and soul can feel. Even if I never go back, God is still God and He has still saved me and still loves me. God IS enough.