Waiting and Waiting

I am still confident of this:
    I will see the goodness of the LORD
    in the land of the living.

Wait for the LORD;
    be strong and take heart
    and wait for the LORD.

Psalm 27:13-14. These words have become the underlying theme of my unemployed and restless season of life. Life has been slow and somewhat mundane. Every day is starting to look and feel the same. It's neither good nor bad (though there are days when it's one or the other). But over all, it's neither good nor bad. I don't expect a flurry of events to bring excitement and busyness. I am not bored with God. Rather, I am impatient to see how His promises for my life will present itself right now. This, if it isn't clear enough already, is my selfish heart speaking. Why do I think I am entitled to see God's promises in my life? I don't know. But God makes a promise to me in His word:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose - Romans 8:28-29

It's not that I feel I am being punished or deprived of anything. It's just easier to doubt God's promises when life circumstances tell you something different. Psalm 27 reminds me that I must wait. God is who He says He is. This means everyday...I have to choose to fight for confidence in what has been promised.

Yes, I'm confused and frustrated and lacking direction because any direction is out of my control. Yet, I feel that I am being prepared for something. I don't know what it is, obviously. It could bring an unbearable pain or joy beyond measure. It could be something completely random that could set off an incredibly beautiful chain of events. Whatever is coming, I know that God is asking me to wait and not rush what is going to be. What more does patience ask for than faith? Faith is confidence in the character of God...that He's who He says He is. There are days in when I believe He's who He claims to be. There are days when I don't because my perspective of God's faithfulness is clouded by my wavering emotions and impatience. The beautiful thing is that it doesn't matter how I may or may not feel because God does not change nor does He fail, regardless of what I believe He is doing. And by the grace of God, despite all of this, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is God in all things. Because of that...I have a reason, a purpose to be who He has called me to be: His daughter, His love, His vessel and ambassador. 

He holds all things together. He is real and living. He's my Redeemer who promises victory. He's my Savior who took my punishment and freed me from the yoke of slavery. He's my God who did not spare His Son, but gave him for me...that I may know Him and His goodness. He keeps His promises and I will pray expectantly that I will see them...that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. 

I will leave with what is becoming an anthem of my heart.