I Have Made Mistakes

In John 14, Jesus promised his disciples an advocate, one that would come to teach and remind them of all that Jesus had done.

In Acts 1:6-8, we see this promise spoken over the disciples again. 

So when [the disciples] had come together, they asked [Jesus], "Lord, will you at this time restore the kingdom to Israel. [Jesus] said to them, "It is not for you to know the times or seasons that the Father has fixed by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all of Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." 

I would think, and this is conjecture, that the disciples were either feeling empowered, or absolutely terrified. Maybe both. Regardless of their feelings, Jesus spoke this to them.

What a task to be entrusted with...

"you will be my witnesses...to the ends of the earth."

They knew Jerusalem, Judea, and Samaria, but what was "to the ends of the earth?" How on earth (literally) would they know when they had reached the ends of the earth? Regardless of that, we know that they followed through with their mission because you and I are here today, believing in Jesus, seeking to fulfill the same mission the first disciples sought to fulfill and struggling to know how to follow Christ, but doing it in faith. To these disciples, the words of Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20) wasn't the Great Commission. They were the last words of their Teacher, Savior, and Lord. 

So they walked faithfully in it. They didn't do it just because it sounded cool. 

I don't want to help fulfill the Great Commission because it sounds really cool. I want to help fulfill the Great Commission because Christ is my first love, and because He has said "do this, and I will be with you." 

The Church today has had the Great Commission and ministry of different kinds handed down to us generation by generation. Stories have been told of brothers and sisters in Christ who have counted the cost and truly and earnestly committed their lives to Jesus, and to making a definite attempt at the rescuing of those men and women who are without true life and without it in reach. It is through the Bible and stories like modern day apostles like Jim Elliot, Amy Carmichael, and Bill Bright (that list could be unbelievably long) that we are taught what it looks like to follow Jesus. 

But what was it like for the very first group of Christians, trying to figure out how to bring the Gospel to the ends of the earth. How many times did they ask themselves...HOW DO WE DO THIS?! It's hard for me to believe that they "struggled" to understand what it meant to follow Jesus because of all the great things God's word says about their lives and their place in continuing Christ's ministry. 

Yet, I think of someone like Peter. He made some mistakes, right? When you think of Peter's story, what do you think?

He was a fisherman. 

He once tried to tell Jesus, GOD, that He was wrong (Matthew 16:21-23)

He denied Jesus. Three times.

He cut off that one guy's ear.

Then...

He literally RAN to Jesus when he found out that He came back to life.

He became the rock of the church.

He preached the first sermon that added 3000 to the early church 

What a story of redemption. Yes. But He continued to make mistakes. He continued to sin. He struggled to know what it looked like to follow Jesus. Even in the midst of 3000 coming to Christ in one day, after ONE sermon (Acts 2), he was just a man.

But He was God's man. 

I am God's girl. 

To have that identity, belonging to God, is not a small thing. That identity...it makes us extraordinary. Extraordinary in Christ, and for Christ. Believing in Jesus as Lord and Savior reconciles me back to my Creator, my Heavenly Father. It gives me the identity that I was created to have and allows me to live freely, despite my struggles with sin, because that punishment was taken on the cross. Jesus paid it. 

"Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation." - 2 Corinthians 5:17-19

The early church was entrusted with Jesus' last words. Can you imagine the accountability and effort it must have taken to make sure that those words were known and believed from generation to generation? They struggled, yes, but they fought to hand down the baton of the Gospel to the next generation. Here we are today, still doing that. Whether it's emotional, spiritual, physical or mental struggle, we have hope beyond hope. 

His name is Jesus. 

We are called to clothe ourselves in love. We are called to put on the full armor of God and fight the good fight. To equip the saints. To walk in obedience. To live in the identities restored and given back to us by our good good Father. 

What mistakes have you made today that you feel separates you from Jesus? What regretful sin do you keep running through your head? What thoughts and questions are you asking yourself?

Why did I do that...again?
When will I be done with this? 
This sin is keeping me from growing in Christ.
No one could love me if I struggle with this.

"I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will remember your sins no more," God, in Isaiah 43:25

He loves us ferociously. 

As someone who knows all to well what it looks like to struggle with the same sin over and over and over, I implore you...don't live out of a false identity that you don't have and were not created to live in. Your sin, other people, not even Satan has the power to define who you are. You don't even have the power to define who you are. Only God can do that. 

God remembers your sin no more. Rest in that truth, and fight. Continue to learn our good Shepherd's voice and follow it. 

There's a song that often brings me comfort when I experience times where I feel hopeless to change. "I Have Made Mistakes" by the Oh Hellos.

"I have made mistakes, I continue to make them

The promises I've made, I continue to break them

And all the doubts I've faced, I continue to face them

But nothing is a waste if you learn from it

And the sun, it does not cause us to grow

It is the rain that will strengthen your soul

And it will make you whole

We have lived in fear, and our fear has betrayed us

But we will overcome the apathy that has made us

Because we are not alone in the dark with our demons

And we have made mistakes

But we've learned from them

Oh, my heart, how can I face you now?

We both know how badly I've let you down. 

I am afraid.

I am afraid of all that I've build fading away."

That last set of lyrics is the struggle we have internally when we are faced with the reality of our sin. Your spirit will be so willing, but your flesh will be so weak. We believe God has the power to change and transform us, to re-wire the parts of our brains that are hard-wired towards a specific sin struggle...but we need Him to help our unbelief. 

It's okay to struggle and it's okay to doubt. It's okay to not be okay. The struggle is real. The doubt is real. But God is real too. He dwells in you. 

He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Today, right now, in this moment, He is working to correct the things that were broken. In me, in you and in the world. He is mending hearts and ushering in the Kingdom. His will is being done here in us. Let Him do that in you, for HIS sake. 

Love you guys.