Fear and Validation

My Jesus is so good. 

I was at a youth retreat this past weekend leading worship. The speaker talked about how the thing you fear will be the thing you look to for validation. If you fear failure at work, you will find identity in work. If it's being alone, you'll idolize a relationship. If you fear being accepted, you'll find your identity in other people. But when we fear the Lord, then we will look to Him for validation. In those words, I realized I fear not finding validation. So I find validation in validation itself. Fear of the Lord has always been a confusing concept to me. Probably to most people. I still don't fully know what it is. There's a lot I don't know and will never know about fear of the Lord. But there are things that I do know about it.

I know that it is a beautiful thing. I know it is right and good. I know it accomplishes a kind of peace for me that truly surpasses all understanding. I know it is something that has helped me restore my identity in Christ. I know it truly brings validation and assurance to who I am in Christ. I am already validated because I am hidden in Christ.

God, who created us in His image, desires to reveal to us our one true identity in Him. We are hidden in Christ. We bear the Imago Dei. And in Christ, we are beautiful, found, and free. Luke 10:38-42 says:

"Now as [the disciples] went on their way, Jesus entered a village. and a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said 'Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her to help me.' But the Lord answered her 'Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the better portion, which will not be taken away from her."

It is better to sit and listen intently to Jesus. God stirs when we don't see it. When we don't seek it. When we don't want it. He pursues us when we can't feel it. When we don't believe it. When we don't know it. He is good when there's no evidence. There is something comforting about knowing all of this even when you don't believe it. But there is something transformative about believing all of this without reason other than the fact that it is true. Something powerful about saying "God is good" when all of life around you doesn't seem to reflect it. Even when we don't sit a the feet of Jesus, He sits with us. He walks with us. He knows us.

"I want to seek you first

I want to love you more

I want to give you the honor you deserve

So I bow before you

I am overcome by the beauty of this perfect love

Now I am hidden in the safety of Your love.

I trust Your heart and Your intentions

Trust You completely

I'm listening intently

You guide me through these many shadows"

Believing the wise words from this song restores my identity in Christ and reminds me how good it is to sit at the feet of Jesus and listen intently. They free me from fear of no validation and frees me into fear of the Lord, where I find peace and inherent validation in Christ. Where I do not need to fear my anxiety. I do not need to fear my recent diagnosis of depression. I do not to fear what I do not know or what is confusing. I don't need to fear vulnerability or honesty. 

It is freeing to truly believe these words above. Not to merely know these words are true, or to feel these words are true. Not merely to have faith that these words are true. But to believe it and to have an assurance that they are true. These aren't words I believed of my own courage or faith. This is not a man-made belief. It is a belief offered to me by the willful death of my perfect Jesus. 1 Corinthians 6:20 says "You are not your own. You were bought with a price." I am not my own. And my goodness I am SO glad my life is not my own. That I am not left to search for my identity apart from the one who gave me the privilege of bearing the Imago Dei. 

On this earth, I won't understand why life can be so confusing, painful, frustrating, or unfair. But someday, I will walk into the place that Jesus went to prepare a place for me (John 14:1-4) and know that it was worth it all. 

Psalm 116:5-9

"The Lord is gracious and righteous. Our God is full of compassion. The Lord protects the simple-hearted. When I was in great need, he saved me. Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. For you, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living."

My Jesus is so good.